From his big hair to his eternal tan, Trump is the epitome of brash new-money swag.
But for all his bourgeois posturing, Trump is, truth be told, hardly famed for being fashionable.
Indeed,the Trump family’s worst looksinclude some particularly hair-raising moments from The Donald.
“He’s a very handsome guy and sexy.
But for Donald, the pursuit of perfect hair has been his Achilles heel.
As a young man, Trump is unrecognizable from the orangey image that has come to typify him.
His hair was white blond and slicked back in a decidedly non-Trumpian way, demonstrating a thick hairline.
His efforts paid off and he had multiple female admirers at this young age.
“I mean, I remember there were so many, it was a revolving door.”
Believe it or not, he was once Trumpy with the good hair.
In his younger years, Trump was borderline likable.
As the 1980s approached, he was in full yuppie mode.
The wispy strands were combed over to an alarming degree, almost resembling a wig.
Despite these procedures, Trump was still acting like a man suffering from substantial hair loss.
“And this might be to hide the scar.”
“He is looking very angry, and he is cursing out loud.
‘Your f***ing doctor has ruined me!’
“It’s as if he got ready somewhere else first,” Lasch told theNew York Post.
I knew damn well ask before I raised a finger to that hair.”
One of Trump’s favorite products is reportedly Farouk Systems' “CHI Helmet Head.”
“He doesn’t like people touching his hair he’s a germophobe.”
That year, he sat down withRolling Stoneand was asked about his haircare routine.
“OK, so I’ve done all that.
I then comb my hair.
“I actually don’t have a bad hairline,” he said.
“When you think about it, it’s not bad.
I mean, I get a lot of credit for comb-overs.
But it’s not really a comb-over.
It’s sort of a little bit forward and back.
I’ve combed it the same way for years.”
Speculation grew as to what exactly Trump was using on his hair to create such a monstrous coiffure.
“He uses a weird bottle of hair spray.
“It’s bigger than the biggest can of beer.”
Subsequently, hair specialists offered Trump some advice to rectify his meme-worthy flaxen image.
“White hair is very porous, it doesn’t hold colour correctly.”
“Can I mess your hair up?”
Speaking toThe Hollywood Reportertwo years later, Fallon said that he regretted the infamous hair tousle.
“I made a mistake.
I’m sorry if I made anyone mad,” he said.
“And, looking back, I would do it differently.”
Such insecurity was exacerbated, perhaps, by a number of embarrassing bad hair days.
According to Wolff, Ivanka Trump frequently joked about her dad’s hair with her pals.
His new hairdo was reminiscent of a bizarre coalescence between an off-duty mafia boss and an aging Patrick Bateman.
More surprising, however, was the revelation that Trump is nowhere near as bald as widely thought.
“He does have some bulk.
I definitely think he has some thinning, though.”
It also grew a tad longer, fashioned into a bizarre proto-mullet.
According to experts who chatted toVogue, Trump likely didn’t embrace the gray of his own volition.
Speaking at a manufacturing plant in Ohio, the president opened up about his hair struggles.
“‘yo come out,’ The water it drips, right?”
Subsequently, the president revealed the secret to his mane: strong water pressure.
Earlier that year, he discussed his ongoing battle with sinks and showerheads.
“So, showerheads you take a shower, the water doesn’t come out,” he said.
“You wash your hands, the water doesn’t come out.
So what do you do?
You just stand there longer, or you take a shower longer?
Because my hair I don’t know about you, but it has to be perfect.
Moreover, his hair reportedly gets lighter with each wash. “Their hair is a kind of visual ‘f*** you’ to the establishment.”
