Hershenson suggests writing down ten things you are grateful for.
Rattling off positives is a brilliant, easy way to keep the other person’s negativity at bay.
This will allow you to diffuse things on your end, rather than lead to a confrontation.
“Make a list of what you’re free to’t control regarding your situation.
For example the mean person is your co-worker.
There’s an app for that
There is an app for everything in life.
Remi Alli, a J.D.
There are plenty of options on Brav that can be customized to suit your needs.
“Mean people have a tendency to trigger our fight or flight response,” she tells me.
“It’s natural to want to be mean back.
so you can stay cool in an uncool situation, breathe more slowly than you would normally do.
When we are in panic mode, our breath speeds up.
If you want to get in control and out of panic, slow your breath down.”
The concentrated, physical response to a psychological provocation will help you approach the situation better.
“If you fight back, you’ll need to deal with the fallout later.
If you react to their anger or rudeness, you will only make it worse.
All you have to do is keep your cool and don’t be mean back.
So be nice, yet not too invested.
“Mean people come in several different flavors.
Some people are intentionally mean.
This person knows exactly what they are doing, yet they may not know why.
Often, their meanness comes from a place of insecurity or jealousy.
In short, they are attempting to put down the other person to make themselves feel better.”
Once you assess the mean “punch in,” VanStory encourages being direct.
I’m telling you that I feel you are being mean.'”
“This individual is often looking for a fight,” she explains.
“They expect you to engage in the same way they engage.
The most effective way to deal with this person is to zig when they zag.
That is, stay calm.
If they normally are a somewhat rational person, let them finish their rant.
You are sounding crazy.'
If they are indeed rational, they will be embarrassed, apologize, and drop it.”
Another zig-zag strategy is to walk away.
However, I have too much pride in myself to sit here and be treated like this.”
You don’t need to simply tolerate mean people by stooping to their level.
Let them know you don’t agree with their methods, and take the high road.
Know when to fold ‘em
Mean people can feel endlessly frustrating.
you’ve got the option to apply that sentiment when dealing with nasty people.
“However, taking the time to ask, ‘How’syourday going?’
or ‘Are you okay?’
is an extremely effective way to disarm someone whose bad attitude is currently on autopilot.
Take the time to listen and offer a word of encouragement.
You might just turn their mood around.”
Think about yourself
Having an end game is another of Wise’s recommendations.
“Sometimes the nicest way to handle chronically mean people is to be nice to yourself.
This means protecting your self-esteem, your mood, or even the trajectory of your day.”
“Bottom line: a good friend is nice to you consistently and with continuity,” Walfish says.
Run for the hills!
But people do not change their internal character structure.
you’ve got the option to’t change a mean person."
Don’t be afraid to let go when you have to.
Walfish says, “Behave cordially, but don’t allow the mean person to get too close.”
Be the bigger person, but ensure boundaries are in place.
This requires you to go out of your way a little.
Chances are they will stare with hostility or say something nasty.
Smile as if you didn’t hear it.
The fact that you weren’t nasty to them will still register somewhere deep in their dark souls."
Or maybe, they’ll even realize the errors of their ways, and apologize.
Let them vent
Rebecca Edelberg of Alosa Healthrecommends letting a mean person vent within reason.
It’s merely another way foryouto blow off some steam and keep calm.
So employ that thinking and action to help you get through having to deal with difficult people.
You do you
Dealing with mean people is a part of every day life.
But cooler heads prevail.
Attempt to diffuse the situation and make it better.
Work to improve your repeated, or even future interactions with a mean person.
When all else falls, call in a mediator.
You shouldn’t be existing in avoidance or flight mode because someone else is disagreeable.
But always,always,remember to consider yourself, your wellbeing, and your professional or personal environment.
You have to be fair to yourself when interacting with a bullish or brutish person.
