When Rachael Ray first mether now-husband, John Cusimano, she wasn’t looking for anything serious.
I don’t think young men or women should feel pressured into marriage.
She couldn’t have been more wrong.
Cusimano was a successful lawyer with a charming smile.
He was friendly and well-informed about food.
Most of all, though, he was the perfect height for Ray.
“We walked directly across the room to each other,” she laughed (viaAOL).
The two have been together ever sense, tying the knot in 2005.
Most interestingly, Ray and Cusimano have shared these challenges openly with the public.
The program, which focused oneasy recipes, ran for an impressive 11 seasons.
The series was also revived in 2019 following a seven-year break.
When Ray first met John Cusimano in 2001, she was hardly an unknown figure.
Not your average meet-cute, that’s for sure.
They fell in love and began to discuss the possibility of a shared future.
Instead, he waited until Ray was in tears to make his move.
“I just wanted her to stop crying, so I threw the ring at her head.
And it wasn’t,” he explained in the same television appearance.
As unorthodox as Cusimano’s proposal may have been, Ray didn’t seem to mind.
“She screamed,” Cusimano said.
As far as outsiders could see, the newlyweds oozed wedded bliss.
Just months after Ray and Cusimano’s wedding, theNational Enquirerinsisted that the couple was already struggling with infidelity.
Part of this affair, she said, occurred after Cusimano had already married Ray.
The National Enquirer also alleged that Cusimano had contracted the services of a sex worker.
Ray and her new husband were apparently shocked by these tabloid reports.
We couldn’t be happier."
We were having margaritas that he had just made for us."
She went on to explain that she and her hubby argue often.
Cusimano agreed with this assessment, stating, “Yeah, we have, like, a steam valve.
We let it off every once in a while.”
However, the experts don’t necessarily agree.
In his view, partners dealing with this particular difficulty might consider seeking professional support.
Instead,the pair are known to grow quite heated and even raise their voices during discussions.
John and I don’t calm it down ever.
We have huge screaming matches all the time, but I think that’s healthy.
And I don’t trust people that are too quiet."
When our partner yells it can escalate our fight-or-flight response and put us into defensive mode.
It actually makes us stop listening and attempt to find some control or safety in the situation."
In that sense, shouting during an argument is not a healthy habit for couples to engage in.
It does not make situations better.
Oftentimes, it just makes things worse.
But, we never … we’re just like, ‘That’s just you.'"
All the frequent fighting between Ray and Cusimano definitely represents a major red flag.
However, the couple still manages to work together despite all their issues.
“We have volatile personalities but we’re both very practical too,” Ray toldPeople.
“That’s the lawyer side of him and the domestic side of me.
We’re like, ‘These are the things that must be accomplished today.'”
Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s healthy.
That’s the apology.
It’s just sort of understood.
‘I still like your a**.’
‘I still like your head.’
It’s kind of in that zone."
In a previous interview withPeople, Ray expressed a similar idea.
“We yell to get it out, then move on,” she said.
“We kiss, cut up vegetables, and John makes cocktails.”
An argument without an apology can often leave partners feeling hurt and unseen.
In his view, apologies can be a key factor in helping partners find peace and resolve intimate conflicts.
Accusations of infidelity have haunted them time and time again.
In 2013,the National Enquirer claimed Cusimano had been spotted at a swingers club without his wife.
Once again, Ray and Cusimano denied the rumors.
A representative for Ray even told Fox News that Cusimano was exploring the idea of a lawsuit.
However, it does not appear that Cusimano ended up filing.
And, according to them, that isn’t a bad thing.
And John is totally down with that."
I just dumped them.
I don’t need that pressure in my life."
Because of her busy schedule,Ray also decided against having kids.
They scream and shout, releasing all of their negative emotions during their fights.
They label their volatility “healthy.
“And,sometimes, Ray even calls Cusimano names.
If John is being an ahole, I tell him, then I feel better.
And John does the same thing.
We share a great sense of humor which helps.”
And contempt is one of the biggest reasons couples ultimately decide to part ways.
“It is the most destructive negative behavior in relationships.
We love being together and not acting our age!”
According to some psychologists, partners who facilitate each other’s unhealthy habits may actually be enabling.
And this is not always beneficial to anyone in the relationship.
