This article contains mentions of depression and suicide.
Even though Kryst’s life looked perfect from the outside, her mental health was anything but.
Like so manycelebs who have anxietyand experience depression, she was hiding it well.
Meanwhile, I was rewarded with a lonely craving for the next award," she wrote.
In the end, this led to her tragic death which still haunts her loved ones and fans today.
Kryst didn’t exactly grow up with bucketloads of self-confidence.
Despite not having a lot of confidence, Kryst wanted to be like her mother.
I thought I want to be just like her," she recalled.
“I can’t say pageants make you beautiful.
I think they make you more confident in the person that you are,” she said.
As a result, she embraced her weirdness instead of seeing it as something negative.
“I decided I’d earn a law degree and an MBA at the same time.
(Why stop at two degrees when you’re free to have three?)”
she wrote in a piece for Allure.
“I joined a trial team at school and won a national championship.
This health scare gave her a new perspective, and she knew that something had to change.
Eventually, Kryst discovered that she was trying to hide from her insecurities.
“I listened very differently.
She never had to say to me, ‘Mom, this is really an issue for me.’
Aside from checking in with Simpkins daily, Kryst also started seeing a therapist.
The routine Kryst set out for herself was incredibly exhausting.
“I prepared for every scenario, question, or surprise change I could think of.
The only part I didn’t prepare for was losing.
I simply refused to carry that visual in my mind,” she wrote.
After all, she used to study 10 hours a day for the bar exam.
“[They] immediately began to petition for the age limit to be lowered,” she wrote.
People who experience depressive symptoms for a prolonged time are usually diagnosed with PDD.
Still, people with PDD often experience long periods of major depression and feel better for shorter periods.
“Winning Miss USA hadn’t made my imposter syndrome go away.
She would overthink every word and every move she made.
“I almost always suppressed my panicky thoughts and feelings of inadequacy during my interviews.
“People would soon find out I was a fraud.
I felt like an imposter, but not just in pageants,” she wrote.
“Each time I say, ‘I’m turning 30,’ I cringe a little.
When news broke that it was her, the world was in shock.
But Kryst sentone last heartbreaking textto her mother, April Simpkins, before she jumped from her apartment building.
Simpkins later toldPeoplethat she knew Kryst sent the text to comfort her after her death.
Kryst’s family confirmed her death in a statement.
“In devastation and great sorrow, we share the passing of our beloved Cheslie.
Her great light was one that inspired others around the world with her beauty and strength.
“It was just so, so shocking and it was sad.
And still is sad.”
Clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the N.Y.U.
Anything,” Simpkins recalled in the book.
She received that information like the rest of the world by reading the news.
“The police were sharing information with a newspaper, not her family,” Simpkins wrote.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available.
